Sunday, January 25, 2009

Quick trip to the Midwest

This is a personal blog, but most often just "lightly" personal - not a "tell-all." This one is a little more personal. Over the past 3 days, I've reconnected with both sides of my family under some trying circumstances and came away bouyed by the experience.

My sister Jody is embroiled in a divorce of epic, ugly proportions that threatens to rip the fragile rug of her life out from underfoot. No matter the outcome of the custody battle, it will be vital for her to center herself and regain her footing and not permit this melee to define her life or Motherhood.

I'm confident she will recover with the help of a stable job caring for the elderly, the love of her current man (a H.S. flame I also knew back in the day), and the family support she can rely on from the La Rue clan.

At the same time, as hard as it may be, Jody must find a way to not let hatred thoughts consume her. IMHO. The kid's childhoods HAVE been damaged & compromised. Two promising young girls and a vibrant formerly loving young son completely turning their backs on their mother is unthinkable. BUT to get thru this I think she needs to stay focused on her health & sanity and, to a great extent keep moving forward as best she can. Look, as we saw in court, the power in this whole menagerie has been with the kids *choosing* - and being allowed to choose -to whom they want to throw their love. With no consequences when they act like horrible little urchins.

Jody has to -in my opinion - stop appearing dependent on the kid's overt love for her definition; for her self-worth. I said hi to (and was acknowledged by) Maggie at her ball game. I had a short conversation with Mollie about cell phones & texting. The yummy chewy loving center of those kids ARE under their hard shells; however, they have to realize the power they've enjoyed and abused over the last year will not be tolerated or effective anymore. Jody can't control the Ex and what he does, but can certainly continue to take the high road and maintain an outward posture of love and acceptance of the kids.when they come around/wake-up/whatever, they need to know the she's there for them. The bashing of the Ex needs to slow too. Again, in my opinion. That feeds a festering psychological wound.

The custody trial has two more days of gut-wrenching testimony and cross-examination. Neither my father, step-mom (who was a rock) or I will be there in person but our spirits will be reaching out across the distance. Jody - if you're reading this, take heart! Be strong sis!

On the way home I stayed briefly in the home of Tamara & Justin in Dallas, TX (Copell to be accurate). Tamara is my niece - Pam my step-sister's daughter. Justin is a woodworker by hobby and an ace physical therapist by trade. Great guy, smart, and a loving hubby. Killer new garage he's just built too. Tam works for the Gov't - a DEA chemist. Two sons. I truly enjoyed their hospitality, and a very comfy spare bed!

I really hope Jody can get back to that happy, comfortable place in life that we all strive to be in.

Jerry and Jody, sitting on an old tractor feeling the 2 degree chill!

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